The Ex-Wife Is Too Formidable — A Single Phone Call and Our Marriage Crumbles!

1

Jackson and I met through a blind date and entered the walled city of love once again.

Yes, we are both remarried.

Jackson divorced because his ex-wife cheated, while I, on the other hand, had massive hidden debts from my ex-husband.

Both of us, wounded middle-aged individuals, understand the importance of tolerance and cherishing.

During our courtship, I was deeply moved by Jackson’s kindness and sincerity.

What stood out the most was his incredible patience with my daughter. She had just started elementary school, and he would pick her up every day, assist with homework — a level of dedication even her biological father couldn’t match.

Whenever I expressed gratitude, he would simply and earnestly say, “My daughter is not here, so I can only shine and radiate through Niu Niu.”

Jackson’s daughter lives with his ex-wife, or more accurately, his ex-wife insisted on having custody.

At that time, I thought his ex-wife might not have been a good wife, but she must be a good mother.

Later, I realized how naive I was.

2

The first confrontation with Jackson’s ex-wife happened three months into our relationship. Before that, during our dates, Jackson would often receive calls from his ex-wife. In such situations, I would usually discreetly step aside.

One time, while we were driving for an outing, his ex-wife called again. Jackson’s phone was connected to the car’s Bluetooth, and I could hear the conversation on speaker. She asked where he was, what he was doing, and why he hadn’t come to see their daughter. As a woman, I could distinctly sense his ex-wife’s attempt to control his whereabouts and a desire to reconcile.

She even playfully asked, “Your girlfriend isn’t beside you, right?” Jackson honestly admitted that I was with him. She said okay and hung up.

To be honest, I was bothered by the unclear ties between Jackson and his ex-wife. So, I directly confronted him, “If you haven’t completely cut ties with your ex-wife, then we have no reason to continue.”

Jackson shook his head repeatedly, stating that reconciliation with his ex-wife was impossible, and he couldn’t escape even if he wanted to. Despite his assurances, after several back-and-forths, I got angry, and I even considered ending the relationship. In my opinion, ex-spouses can stay in contact for the sake of their children, but if there are lingering emotions, it’s a waste of time for both parties.

At that moment, Jackson cried and pleaded, unwilling to break up. Seeing him in tears, my heart softened. I also sensed that he had been thoroughly exploited in his previous marriage, and sympathy welled up. I decided to give our relationship another chance. Jackson, in turn, promised me that he would draw a clear boundary with his ex-wife.

3

I saw Jackson’s ex-wife in person six months later. By then, we were already at the stage of discussing marriage.

During the Mid-Autumn Festival, Jackson and I were having dinner at his parents’ house when his ex-wife suddenly called, asking him to pick up their daughter at the entrance of a shopping mall. Initially, Jackson planned to bring his daughter home for the festival, but his ex-wife changed her mind, claiming their daughter was out with friends and now wanted to return.

Concerned about any potential trouble, I accompanied Jackson to the mall. When we arrived, I stayed in the car to avoid awkwardness. In less than five minutes, Jackson returned, visibly annoyed. As expected, his ex-wife, not their daughter, awaited him at the mall entrance.

Seeing Jackson’s frustration, I didn’t ask any questions. A woman outside the car was knocking on the window, and Jackson looked utterly astonished — who else but his ex-wife. How should I put it? His ex-wife didn’t resemble a woman in her forties at all. She was dressed in extremely short shorts, a tiny tank top, with heavy makeup, giving off a street-style hot girl vibe.

Jackson quickly reversed the car, and surprisingly, his ex-wife chased us all the way. However, when we reached the entrance of the residential area, she turned around. A few minutes later, Jackson received a WeChat message from his ex-wife, filled with harsh words. One memorable line was, “You buy your girlfriend a new car, but don’t forget to pay child support.”

That day, Jackson was driving my car, and his ex-wife mistakenly thought he had bought it. Thus, a perfectly good Mid-Autumn Festival was disrupted in this way.

4

Apart from the occasional irritation caused by his ex-wife’s unpredictable actions, Jackson is actually a great candidate for remarriage. He works as the Chief Engineer in a state-owned enterprise, with a high and stable income. His parents are reasonable and understanding people.

Despite his ex-wife’s behavior, Jackson has never spoken ill of her, only attributing their divorce to unfortunate circumstances. Initially, I thought it was a matter of upbringing, but later I realized it was more about his weakness. His ex-wife knows how to manipulate his character, and even after the divorce, she continues to control his finances through their daughter.

Every month, Jackson not only pays child support but also contributes to his ex-wife’s mortgage. I and Jackson share a similar background, as when I divorced my ex-husband, I helped him repay an external debt of 180,000 yuan.

Considering all these factors, I decided to marry Jackson.

5

Our wedding was not extravagant. After getting the marriage certificate, we invited a small group of relatives and friends to a meal at a hotel. After marriage, Jackson moved into my house. He entrusted his salary card to me, expressing concerns about being deceived by his ex-wife.

I felt sorry for him. Despite being remarried, he still feared his ex-wife might have ulterior motives regarding his assets. In our post-marriage days, we were harmonious and happy. Jackson mentioned that he finally had the ideal married life he had always wanted.

However, troubles arose when we started planning to buy a house.

6

My home is far from Jackson’s workplace, so we decided to buy a larger house nearby. However, his ex-wife’s current residence, bought with the help of his housing fund loan, had not been fully repaid. When purchasing a second property, we faced the choice of either opting for a commercial loan or clearing the housing fund loan on the first property.

During the repayment process, his ex-wife got wind of our plans to buy a house and started obstructing us. During that period, she frequently called Jackson in the dead of night, hurling insults. Jackson, in turn, became extremely irritable, leading to intense arguments over the phone that I couldn’t calm down.

After several heated arguments, one morning, Jackson received a call from his daughter. The 10-year-old child was sobbing uncontrollably, saying, “Dad, do you not care about me and Mom anymore? If you buy a house, Mom and I will jump off the building right away.”

Jackson was petrified, leaning against the wall, repeatedly asking where his daughter was. The girl refused to provide a direct answer, only stating that she and her mother were on the rooftop. Trembling, Jackson continued to take the call while frantically searching for his car keys, intending to rush out to find them.

I signaled him not to be hasty, then wrote a note telling him that he was too emotionally distraught to drive at the moment. I advised him to calm down and assured him that I would call the police.

Jackson agreed, and I promptly made the call. The police thoroughly searched his ex-wife’s neighborhood but found nothing. Finally, we called her mother, who stated that her daughter was at work, and she had already taken her granddaughter to school.

It turned out that his ex-wife falsely threatened to jump off a building to prevent Jackson from buying a house. In a rage over the phone, she shouted, “Dare you not answer my calls? Dare you block me on WeChat?”

Jackson, sitting on the ground in a state of exhaustion, softly said, “I dare not anymore. I won’t dare anymore.” Later, with tears in his eyes, he asked me, “Having a ex-wife like this, do you regret marrying me?” I nodded slightly, but looking at the pitiful Jackson, I shook my head. I couldn’t deny that at that moment, my nurturing instincts overwhelmed me.

7

After the turmoil caused by his ex-wife, even though we successfully bought the house, Jackson became fearful. Since then, he dared not refuse any of his ex-wife’s requests, even if they were unreasonable. This included helping her brother find a job and arranging medical care for her mother when she fell ill.

Despite Jackson’s compliance, his ex-wife showed no gratitude. Perhaps in her mind, these were merely obligations that Jackson should fulfill. She continued to call him incessantly. To avoid her calls, Jackson started shutting down his phone every night at nine.

In response, his ex-wife bought a phone for their daughter, using it as a means to contact Jackson through the child. Their daughter became her tool for extortion. During that period, every time Jackson’s phone rang, my heart would tighten.

I asked Jackson if he had considered seeking custody of their daughter. Jackson was conflicted — their daughter had grown up with her grandmother, and his ex-wife wouldn’t easily give up custody. We consulted several law firms, inquiring about the possibility of changing the custody arrangement.

Upon hearing about his ex-wife’s actions, the legal experts believed that the lawsuit might not have a high chance of success. They suggested negotiating with his ex-wife instead. So, I decided to have a conversation with Jackson’s ex-wife.

8

I still remember my conversation with Jackson’s ex-wife vividly. I honestly told her that if there were still feelings between her and Jackson, I would be willing to step back. My intentions were pure — mending a broken family could be considered accumulating good karma for myself. Besides, with her constant interference, Jackson and I were not having a peaceful life.

To my surprise, she responded, “We can’t reconcile; I already have a boyfriend.” I suggested that, for the sake of the child’s healthy growth, we should try to get along amicably.

However, my words didn’t sway her. On the contrary, she spoke ill of Jackson, describing him as stubborn, lacking in charm, neglecting the child, and even claimed that since being with me, Jackson hadn’t paid child support.

I didn’t believe these fabrications. A person who was helping his ex-wife repay a mortgage wouldn’t neglect child support. In the end, I said to her, “We’re all adults. We need to take responsibility for our own lives and consider the well-being of the child. If Jackson falls short in any way, I’ll encourage him to improve. But please, don’t involve the child in the battles between adults. It has a significant impact on the child’s mental and emotional well-being. As mothers, none of us want our children to grow up psychologically unhealthy, right?”

9

After that conversation, his ex-wife quieted down for a while. However, not long after, she used their daughter’s WeChat to send messages to Jackson, claiming that their daughter didn’t like me. She went on to say that I might appear to be a virtuous wife and mother, but deep down, I was extremely wicked. Shamelessly, she even declared, “I just had a little affair. Your current wife is younger than you, who knows how she might betray you in the future.”

These words were truly heart-wrenching. Jackson swore he wouldn’t believe her, but the snake bite had already left its mark. For a while, when Jackson returned from a business trip, he went straight to the bedroom as if searching for something. He even meticulously sniffed around my body and hair.

Feeling perplexed, I asked him what he was doing. Hesitantly, he confessed that during one of his business trips, his ex-wife had brought her lover home, and he had caught them in the act. His ex-wife knew exactly which words would trigger Jackson.

During this time, I realized that Jackson had some emotional scars. Despite being divorced, he hadn’t fully healed from the damage inflicted by his ex-wife. I was angry and called his ex-wife to confront her, demanding to know what she was trying to achieve. She responded nonchalantly, “You don’t have the ability to handle a man yourself; why should I care?”

Her words angered me to the point of using strong language in response.

10

His ex-wife immediately ran to Jackson, complaining that I had insulted her and asking him to control me. I found myself in a situation where I couldn’t explain the truth. Jackson started blaming me, saying that I shouldn’t have responded to the provocation.

During that time, I felt extremely anxious. Whenever I saw Jackson in contact with his ex-wife, I couldn’t shake off the uneasy feeling, but I couldn’t stop it either. His daughter was Jackson’s soft spot. He told me that when his daughter was young, he was busy with work, and it was his ex-mother-in-law who helped raise her. He harbored a lot of guilt towards his daughter.

He once confided in me, expressing regret that his family fell apart due to his ex-wife’s infidelity. He felt he had let his daughter down. Now, he feared his ex-wife might resort to extreme actions that could harm their daughter.

I remember when Jackson and I officially became a couple, he took me to meet his daughter. The child immediately asked me for a Lego set worth 1699 yuan. Jackson was embarrassed, explaining that after their divorce, his ex-wife frequently took their daughter on matchmaking outings. It became clear to me that, for the child, a father’s significance was equated with money and gifts, not paternal love.

Jackson blamed himself for everything and wanted to make amends. However, the more he tried to compensate, the more firmly his ex-wife held him in her grip.

11

In such a challenging situation, I felt life becoming increasingly oppressive, often experiencing insomnia and headaches. Upon seeking medical help, the diagnosis confirmed that I had depression. I cried at that moment, thinking about how I used to be such a positive and sunny person with many uplifting hobbies. Now, I had pushed myself into depression.

I began my journey to self-recovery, engaging in exercise and attempting to adjust my mindset. Though anxiety and fear still plagued me frequently, I told myself not to focus on Jackson’s ex-wife anymore. While actively making lifestyle changes, I kept the home neat and clean, incorporating daily meditation.

During the summer, when Jackson went on a business trip to Canada, we embarked on an extended honeymoon. For a full two months, we distanced ourselves from his ex-wife’s disruptions, and life gradually returned to normal. I explored recipes online, learning to cook both Chinese and Western dishes. Seeing the delicious meals I prepared, Jackson expressed immense gratitude, saying, “Darling, you’re so skillful.”

He told me that I fulfilled all his fantasies of a wife. In the tranquility of these good times, my depression gradually lifted.

12

All the beauty came to an end when we returned to our country. His ex-wife, like a recurring nightmare, resurfaced. She began causing trouble for Jackson again, using various pretexts. Each time Jackson assured me that he wouldn’t meet his ex-wife, and I knew even if they did meet, nothing would happen between them. But the feeling was truly unpleasant.

As autumn arrived, my depression resurfaced. I frequently had nightmares, making it difficult to get up the next day. Jackson, feeling desperate, went to his ex-wife’s workplace to reason with her superiors. Since she worked in a public institution, Jackson’s actions were like poking a hornet’s nest.

His ex-wife retaliated wildly, even threatening Jackson that she wouldn’t let their daughter recognize him as her father anymore. Once, Jackson’s daughter came to our house, and I was in the midst of pulling out his white hair. Suddenly, she disdainfully remarked, “My mom doesn’t care about my dad at all.” Upon hearing this, Jackson collapsed on my lap, crying.

I understood his feelings. All along, he had endured his ex-wife to avoid hurting his daughter. However, his daughter, just like her mother, never held him in high regard and even found joy in hurting him. It was something any normal person would find unbearable.

13

During that time, Jackson’s face wore a constant expression of bitterness, and his back hunched as if he had been severely beaten. I comforted and encouraged him, channeling all my energy and joy into supporting him. However, I found myself sinking into a profound darkness.

Jackson warned his ex-wife to stop harassing us, even mentioning that I was dealing with depression. This seemed to give his ex-wife a new weapon. One time, taking advantage of Jackson’s business trip, she called me and insulted me, claiming I was mentally ill and needed medication. I was so furious that I couldn’t even eat, and within a week, my weight dropped from 92 pounds to 87 pounds.

It was during that week that I finally realized Jackson had no capability to settle things with his ex-wife. I, being a normal person, couldn’t allow myself to be driven into madness by a lunatic. Living in such circumstances was truly unbearable.

14

After Jackson returned from his business trip, I brought up the idea of divorce. Jackson cried and knelt down, begging me not to leave, but at this point, we couldn’t continue. In this relationship, if Jackson can be compared to Tang Sanzang, his ex-wife is the monster, and I am like Sun Wukong fighting the monster. However, the monster is too powerful, and I am exhausted. So, I chose to give up.

Jackson suggested that we have a child so that I wouldn’t leave him. During our time in Canada, I had thought about having a child, but I felt Jackson couldn’t protect a child, and I didn’t want a child to grow up in such a complicated environment. A healthy relationship doesn’t need a child as a binding factor. Now, it seems like that decision was the right one.

15

In the end, Jackson and I divorced. Regarding the house we bought together, Jackson insisted on giving it to me. He said he hadn’t protected me well, and he felt guilty. When his ex-wife found out about him giving me the house, she came to my place and caused a scene, accusing me of marrying Jackson just for the house. I don’t understand from what standpoint she has the right to criticize me. How can someone be so arrogant and unreasonable?

In the end, it all boils down to Jackson’s weakness and indulgence, giving her the courage to behave this way. People like her thrive on tolerance because, in the end, it’s enabling. Initially, I didn’t want the house, but after her disturbance, I accepted it without guilt.

Jackson isn’t a bad man. He is responsible, frugal, a typical STEM geek, and has brought warmth to both me and my daughter. However, he is too weak. A man’s weakness is the greatest betrayal to marriage.

16

I’ve heard a saying before: even the most cowardly man should learn to protect two things — the land beneath his feet and the woman in his arms.

Yet, Jackson couldn’t even provide me with the basic sense of security and tranquility.

That’s the greatest tragedy of our marriage.

I remember before our divorce, Jackson told me, “If only I had met you for my first marriage.”

Perhaps, but what’s the point of such a hypothetical?

Life ultimately has no “ifs,” so let it be.