How to Reclaim Emotional Investment from an Ex

1

Zachary recently encountered some frustrating issues. He and Lucy broke up, but there’s still 50,000 yuan that he hasn’t gotten back.

This money was transferred by Zachary to Lucy during their passionate and intense moments. For instance, during Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries, and various romantic occasions, they exchanged significant amounts as tokens of their love.

After dating for five years, without meticulous calculation, this emotional investment surprisingly accumulated to such a substantial sum. Unlike borrowed money, which can be reclaimed with righteousness, asking for it seems petty, but refraining from doing so feels painful.

Considering Zachary’s modest annual salary as an ordinary employee, this amount is significant. Zachary wants the money back for another reason: not long after their breakup, Lucy found a new partner.

This speed makes Zachary suspect that Lucy might have been cheating while they were still together. Bearing the humiliation of being cheated on is unbearable.

However, Zachary is perplexed about how to approach this. Directly asking might lead to a dead-end if Lucy refuses, and it would ruin their relationship. After all, having spent five years together, they’ve experienced everything and shared intimate moments. Originally heading towards marriage, their relationship was sweet and harmonious. The unexpected breakup was like a sudden car crash.

Zachary decides to test Lucy’s attitude first. A month after the breakup, he initiates a conversation online.

After a while, Lucy lazily responds with a casual “Hi.” Zachary asks her, “What have you been busy with lately?” Lucy, sparing with words, replies, “Busy with random stuff.” Zachary, growing impatient with Lucy’s attitude, restrains himself for the sake of the money.

“Haven’t you gone out for a date with your new boyfriend?” Zachary sarcastically inquires. Lucy teasingly responds, “Planning to. Wanna join?” This banter infuriates Zachary. He forces himself to type, “Have a pleasant date,” and quickly logs off.

Zachary regrets not addressing the crucial issue and failing to ask for the money. He wasted words and swallowed his anger. What’s he trying to achieve with this approach?

2

Zachary noticed a startling change in Lucy. When they were together, Lucy used to be the type who couldn’t survive without posting on social media. Whether it was traveling, cooking, tending to blooming flowers, or buying a piece of yarn, she would passionately share it all.

Now, her social media accounts are completely blank. The transformation is too radical.

Zachary inquired with a mutual friend and discovered that Lucy is actually active every day, sharing sweet interactions with her new boyfriend, inundating everyone with relationship sweetness. It’s not that Lucy’s habits changed; she simply blocked Zachary. She doesn’t want him to peek into her new life.

Zachary’s attempts to gather intel were thwarted; Lucy is truly ruthless.

Feeling annoyed, Zachary thinks, “Share your sweet moments, but why hide it from me!”

Friends consoled him, saying Lucy did it for his own good to spare him from emotional distress. Watching his ex and her current partner being affectionate every day wouldn’t be easy.

Zachary agrees; witnessing his ex and her new lovey-dovey relationship isn’t conducive to his growth or the pursuit of a new life.

Deciding not to beat around the bush any longer, Zachary chooses to ask for the money directly. During lunchtime, he signals Lucy again. He knows Lucy is usually free and in a good mood after lunch, based on their past online conversations.

He asks, “What are you busy with?”

“Chatting with my new boyfriend,” Lucy replies casually, seemingly trying to provoke him. Zachary’s chest tightens, but he stays calm and focuses on the matter at hand.

“Lucy, don’t you think you owe me something?”

“You owe a slap,” Lucy retorts.

That’s Lucy’s style, refusing to play by conventional rules. Zachary chuckles; Lucy has no idea about the underlying message in his words.

“Zachary, why beat around the bush? If you’re a man, be straightforward. Speak up, don’t hold back.”

Lucy throws the words back at him, finally getting to the point. No need for niceties.

3

Zachary knows Lucy’s impatient nature too well and doesn’t want to give her the chance to type slowly. So, with foresight, he prepared a paragraph in advance and stored it in the file transfer assistant. All he needs to do is copy and paste, then send directly.

In a lengthy message, he expresses that over the past five years, alongside his emotional investment in Lucy, there was also a 50,000 yuan emotional investment. Since their collaboration failed, he wants to withdraw this money. Below are detailed records of each transfer.

As the saying goes, “Be prepared.” Even through the screen, Zachary can imagine Lucy’s stunned expression.

He feels both nervous and triumphant. If Lucy is clear-headed, she might transfer the money to him soon.

However, Lucy remains silent.

Zachary is furious; Lucy is pretending not to see it.

With patience, he waits until the afternoon and sends another message to Lucy. However, he can’t send it; Lucy has blocked him.

Yes, blocked!

Zachary’s head buzzes, blood rushing to his temples. Damn, what kind of person is this? If you don’t want to return the money, at least be decent and not block someone.

No, the words are out; he must get the money, or it would be embarrassing.

He decides to call Lucy directly. The call goes through, but there’s no answer.

Thinking that blocking him on WeChat means avoiding calls, Lucy is underestimating the situation. Since the cat’s out of the bag, might as well strike while the iron is hot.

Dealing with money matters face-to-face is more proper and serious.

The next day, Zachary leaves work early and waits directly at the entrance of Lucy’s company.

Upon seeing Zachary, Lucy first freezes, then says, “Hehe, what are you doing here? What’s your business?”

Zachary has thought this through. If they can talk civilly without tearing each other apart, it would be better. He says, “I came here for something and thought of inviting you for a meal on the way.”

Lucy replies, “Zachary, are you bored? Do we really need to sit together for a meal?”

Zachary chuckles, “Do you think it’s necessary for us to argue about that 50,000 yuan right in front of your company gate?”

This tactic works, and Lucy agrees.

After all, it’s just a meal; who’s afraid of who.

4

The intention behind the meal is not about the food but whether she can repay the money.

Zachary is reluctant to spend more money on Lucy, so he orders two bowls of noodles at a fast-food restaurant. When the noodles arrive, he asks, “Did you see the message I sent you yesterday?”

“What message? I didn’t receive anything,” Lucy says, staring with innocent eyes and a smirk on her lips. Zachary is familiar with this expression — pretending to be innocent and playing tricks.

“Enough with the act. Let’s be straightforward. When will you return the 50,000 yuan?” Zachary adjusts his temper to prevent an explosion.

“Do I owe you money? Do you have a promissory note from me?” Lucy mocks, laughing.

Zachary nods and decides to play hardball. He pushes the message on his phone in front of Lucy. “Open your eyes and read it clearly. 50,000 yuan, emotional investment fee.”

Lucy sneers, “You have such thick skin. Can you ask for things back after giving them away? It’s not like I forced you to give it to me back then.”

Suddenly, Zachary jumps up, pointing his finger at Lucy’s nose. “Do you admit to having this 50,000 yuan? Do you admit it?”

“Admit or not, what’s the difference?” Lucy defiantly responds, making Zachary almost spit out blood.

Her next words hit even harder, “I have foresight. If I had married you, it would have been a waste. Tsk tsk, 50,000 yuan, and you still have the nerve to ask for it. You don’t act like a man. After this, I should give you a banner of gratitude for not marrying me, or else you’d miss out on my good marriage.”

Zachary tries to steady himself. It’s okay; she just needs to admit to the 50,000 yuan. Let her say whatever she wants. Being looked down upon by Lucy, he has to get the money, or else his reputation will suffer, and he won’t gain anything. And, this time, Zachary secretly records their conversation.

For three days, Zachary constantly pesters Lucy, playing the recorded conversation for her. He finds it amusing, realizing he’s not much different from those loan sharks who block doors for debts.

Lucy ignores him. Zachary says, “If you continue this way, I’ll talk to your new boyfriend about this.”

His relentless spirit is truly commendable. Maybe fearing he might blabber, or perhaps just to tease him, Lucy removes him from her blacklist. When she’s not happy, she treats him like air, and when she’s in a good mood, she replies with two words: “No money.”

Zachary proposes, “How about this? You repay in installments, a bit each month, and it will be settled in two years. I won’t ask for interest.”

Lucy disdainfully says, “Zachary, your persistent pursuit makes me wonder if you haven’t let go of your feelings for me.”

“You’re overthinking it,” Zachary thinks. “You’re really overthinking it. There’s no lingering affection now; there’s only remaining money.”

5

Lucy claimed she had no money, so Zachary chose to approach her on the day she received her salary, avoiding bothering her during other times. Given Zachary’s principled approach, Lucy couldn’t complain too much.

However, Lucy did resist.

Half a year passed, and Zachary didn’t manage to reclaim a single penny. He had someone take screenshots of Lucy’s Moments on social media, where she flaunted expensive bags and even went on a luxurious trip to the Maldives with her new boyfriend, indulging in various extravagant expenses.

Damn, and she says she has no money! Zachary is furious. It seems he needs to take legal action; otherwise, he won’t get his money back.

Lucy remains indifferent. She doesn’t care if Zachary takes legal action; she just hopes he won’t get the money back, creating unnecessary trouble and tarnishing his reputation.

Zachary’s emotions escalate from anger to hatred. He swears silently that in future relationships, he won’t engage in any emotional investments. At most, he’ll give five yuan and twenty-two cents or thirteen yuan and fourteen cents, just as a symbolic gesture.

Surprisingly, a few days after submitting the lawsuit, Zachary finds himself in a new romantic relationship. The girl’s name is Ruby, and they met on a dating website. They hit it off after meeting in person.

Zachary thinks Ruby is down-to-earth, at least much simpler than Lucy, the extravagant woman. Ruby’s social media is filled with inspirational quotes and motivational stories, not flaunting wealth.

After a month of knowing each other, and with Lucy’s court case not having a trial date yet, Ruby’s birthday approaches. Zachary struggles with how much red envelope money is appropriate. Too much, and he might not recover the cost; too little, and it might seem stingy.

This issue keeps him awake for a night. By the next day, without a proper expression, Zachary reluctantly sends Ruby a red envelope of fifty-two yuan and one cent.

Ruby accepts the red envelope with a simple “thank you” but doesn’t respond for the rest of the day. Zachary feels uneasy. Is she angry? Does she think the red envelope is too small? Well, fifty-some yuan isn’t much, but it’s their first birthday after entering a relationship. Can’t he be a bit more sincere?

Feeling cautious, Zachary finally receives a message from Ruby as he’s about to leave work. It’s the address of a restaurant, asking him to come directly after work. What could this mean? Is it an invitation for a farewell dinner over a fifty-yuan red envelope? Zachary’s heart races.

At the restaurant, a private room is filled with people. As Zachary looks up, he is stunned to see Lucy among the crowd. He takes a sharp breath; his previously uneasy mood plunges into an icy abyss.

His new life has just begun, and this woman… won’t leave him alone!

It turns out Lucy’s new boyfriend is a colleague of Ruby. This is a birthday party organized by their coworkers for Ruby.

The world is indeed small, and Zachary is on the verge of losing it.

Throughout the evening, Zachary remains quiet, keeping his eyes on Lucy, afraid she might do something.

The crowd cheers for Ruby and Zachary to clink glasses. Zachary’s dreaded moment finally arrives. Lucy says, “Let me share a joke with everyone. I have a female colleague whose ex-boyfriend, during their good times, sent her some red envelopes on her birthdays and special occasions. Now that they’ve broken up, he insists on getting them back. If she refuses, he harasses her daily and even threatens legal action. Have you ever seen such a shameless man?”

Everyone at the table criticizes the man; such vile behavior is despicable. Zachary feels as if he’s been slapped countless times on his face. Luckily, alcohol conceals his face, preventing him from making a public embarrassment.

“Ruby, did your boyfriend send you a red envelope for your birthday? Be careful; what if he comes chasing for debts one day? Haha…” Lucy pointedly mentions Zachary, and everyone joins in the laughter.

She is deliberately trying to upset him. It’s a blatant threat.

Zachary’s face feels like it has a layer of plaster that is about to crumble with each smile.

6

Lucy played a ruthless move, leaving Zachary paralyzed. If Lucy shares their chat records, recordings, and the lawsuit with Ruby, how will Ruby perceive him? Will she see him as a despicable person?

Moreover, Zachary used to send Lucy red envelopes of 520 yuan, while for Ruby, it was only 52 yuan. The difference is too significant.

Feeling overwhelmed, Zachary comes across a news article that makes him completely back down. The news is about a couple where the man sued to reclaim gifts and red envelopes worth over 80,000 yuan that he had given to his ex-girlfriend. The court ruled that these were periodic, small-scale gifts based on emotions, not one-time large gifts with marriage as an additional condition. As they were insufficient to impact the giver’s basic life, the recipient had no obligation to return them due to a relationship breakdown.

In simpler terms, if the recipient willingly returns something, it’s out of goodwill; if not, the giver has no recourse.

Zachary withdraws the lawsuit. Luckily, as of now, only a few people know about this. If it went to trial, facing Lucy in court, surrounded by onlookers, would have been extremely embarrassing.

He decides to accept it and move on. However, Lucy still has the recordings and evidence of him demanding money. Could it be that he needs to beg Lucy now to avoid exposing himself?

He feels like crying.

In a last attempt to test the waters, he calls Lucy, straightforwardly stating that he no longer wants the 50,000 yuan, and they should forget everything between them.

Lucy chuckles, “Oh my, has the sun risen from the west? Are you afraid… I’ll say something to your current partner?”

“No, no, no, it’s not like that. I just think since we’ve broken up, let’s not bring up anything from the past.”

Lucy laughs heartily, leaving Zachary a bit uneasy. Her laughter seems meaningful, but he convinces himself that since he has clearly stated he doesn’t want the money, there’s nothing more she can do.

Feeling reassured, he continues with his life. Almost a year into his relationship with Ruby, Zachary decides it’s time to get married for a more stable and secure future. There are no emotional investments, no economic issues of loss and gain.

Taking advantage of a workplace welfare housing opportunity, Zachary and Ruby arrange their wedding.

The day before the wedding, Zachary receives a notification on his phone — 20,000 yuan has been deposited. It’s from Lucy. Zachary, who had given up on the money, is now surprised. It’s like unexpected good fortune, a double happiness, a windfall from the sky.

Then, Lucy sends another message, “In these five years, both of us invested not just emotions but also our youth. If you want to measure it in money, I calculated that I spent almost 30,000 yuan buying things for you. Now, let’s both withdraw our investments and forget each other.”

Zachary, initially joyous, now feels a bit off. He had genuinely invested emotions in Lucy at the beginning; otherwise, he wouldn’t have sent so many loving red envelopes. Five years of a relationship, and in the end, besides tearing everything apart, there’s no trace of any beautiful memories.

Whose fault is it?

He decides not to dwell on it. It’s like unexpectedly winning the lottery; he’ll take his wife, who hasn’t even received a big red envelope, and go enjoy a round in the Maldives.