He still wants to be a good husband

1

Miles received the chest X-ray results for Skyler, and it left him stunned. Skyler had a nodule on the lungs larger than a centimeter, with an 80% chance of it being lung cancer, according to the doctor.

Miles squatted in a corner, lit a cigarette, but didn’t smoke it for a long time, just letting it burn on its own. When there was only a small part of it left, he took a deep drag. Miles flicked the cigarette butt on the ground, then stood up, forcefully crushing it with his foot.

He told Skyler’s father-in-law that he needed to go back to his hometown. Ignoring the disapproving look from his father-in-law, Miles grabbed his car keys and walked out of the hospital. He was afraid of being stopped by his father-in-law. Or maybe, stopped by the claws of his conscience.

Miles’ mother was surprised by his sudden return, repeatedly asking why he came back at such an odd time. Miles avoided the question each time. When she couldn’t get a reasonable answer, she just informed Miles that she had surgery scheduled for next week.

Miles was initially shocked. He asked what illness required surgery, and his mother calmly replied, cervical cancer, in the middle to late stage. Miles was taken aback. He frantically asked when she found out and why she didn’t tell him earlier. His mother, still calm, said that when you have an illness, you treat it. Besides, there’s your father to think about.

This infuriated Miles. His father had left his mother when Miles was seven, involved with a widow in the village, leading to their divorce. Despite living in the same village for so many years, there had been no contact between them. Now, with his mother’s illness, his father suddenly appeared. Was he here to mock, or to comfort the patient? Who knows?

His mother remained as calm as water, unaffected by Miles’ anger. Wearing reading glasses taped on one leg, she put the thread in her mouth, moistened it, threaded the needle, combed the needle through her gray hair, and then earnestly darned a pair of black-and-white old cloth shoes.

Watching his mother, who was seriously ill, still appearing calm and composed, Miles felt a deep pain radiating from within. His mother had suffered for most of her life, enduring years of poverty. Just when life improved after he got married and had a child, she was struck by this terrifying illness. His mother was not even sixty yet, still relatively young.

Miles squatted on the ground, hands on his head, shoulders trembling with sobs. After crying for a long time, he gradually suppressed the grief welling up inside him. He pinched his blocked nose, stood up suddenly, and was hit by a sudden dizziness. Swaying left and right, Miles saw Skyler’s face in the unexpected burst of stars.

Skyler, only twenty-eight, having such a deadly disease like lung cancer, isn’t it even more worthy of sympathy and sorrow?

2

In the middle of the night at 2 AM, Miles’s phone rang. It was a call from Skyler’s cousin. He asked Miles if Skyler was his wife. Leaving your wife when she’s sick, isn’t that unacceptable? Aren’t you afraid of being struck by lightning for doing this?

Miles really wanted to retort to Skyler’s cousin, saying that compared to being struck by lightning, I’m more afraid of plunging into a darker life for the rest of my days. But he didn’t say anything. He understood Skyler’s cousin’s accusations and dissatisfaction with his actions. However, when he thought about it, who had truly understood him all these years? His grievances, frustrations, and helplessness — did anyone really care?

Miles is the son-in-law of the Skyler family.

Miles’s family is poor, and he has a younger brother. His brother got admitted to a prestigious university outside the province, becoming the pride of their family and the only university student in their village.

The villagers pooled their resources to raise less than a third of the tuition fee. In a village where poverty was a common phenomenon, when applied to individual families, there was not the poorest, only the even poorer. Being able to gather one-third was already the greatest kindness and capability of the villagers.

At this critical moment, a matchmaker from the village, at the request of Skyler’s parents, came to Miles’s house. The reason they chose Miles was not just because of the similar age but also because his family was profoundly poor and urgently needed money.

The matchmaker was straightforward and didn’t hide anything when talking to Miles’s mother.

Skyler, who lived in the town, had a mental disability due to an illness in her childhood. Her intellectual development had stopped, and at the age of twenty-six, her intelligence was still at the level of a seven or eight-year-old. While she had no issues with movement, self-care, and simple communication, there was a noticeable dullness and slowness in her appearance compared to regular people.

But her family was wealthy. The matchmaker emphasized this point, highlighting it with precision and vigor, leaving Miles’s mother who initially wanted to refuse suddenly lacking the confidence to object.

Miles sat on the side, listening, feeling a deep sense of humiliation.

Previously, he had only heard of families with daughters being used to exchange for marriages, dowries, or auspicious dates. But who could have imagined that he, Miles, a grown man, also had a “value” to be exchanged?

Miles sighed, lamenting that being poor led to shortsightedness. When rich people come knocking on the door with money, it hits you in a way that makes it impossible to cry out in pain. All because money can buy marriages and houses, luxuries for the poor. Of course, it can also buy off Miles’s entire life.

Yes, Skyler’s parents’ intention was for Miles to become the son-in-law of the Skyler family. They would solve all the housing and job issues, and additionally cover Miles’s brother’s four years of university expenses. In this way, Skyler would have someone to entrust and rely on for the rest of her life, avoiding the possible hardships and unfair treatment she might face when married off.

In the end, this was the only foolproof plan Skyler’s parents could come up with for Skyler’s future. Though selfish, it revealed the heartfelt concern and helplessness of being parents.

Miles’s mother remained silent for a while and then turned to him, saying, “For the sake of the marriage, I won’t make it difficult for you. If you agree, our family will have a better life, and your brother can go to university. If you don’t agree, that’s fine too. But from now on, whether you can marry and whether you have a house will depend on you.”

Miles remained silent for a while too. Even without his mother’s prodding, Miles, who hadn’t completed even the first year of high school, knew that, without education and skills, bearing the heavy burden of family responsibility would make life very difficult.

Life can take shortcuts, but the cost is high. But what else could be done? Poverty is a disease that can crush the will to survive, with no cure. Compared to life, what value does self-respect hold?

Miles suddenly chuckled. In that laughter, there was mockery of reality, resentment towards fate, compromise with difficult times, and an exploration of an unknown future.

3

Skyler’s cousin questioned Miles over the phone, “Do you know your wife is going to Beijing for medical tests? Do you know when their flight is?”

Miles was caught off guard by the inquiry. Since he left abruptly upon learning about the diagnosis, no one from Skyler’s family had contacted him.

Skyler’s cousin sighed helplessly, “One should live with a clear conscience. They have a flight to Beijing on the 18th in the morning; you figure it out yourself.”

After hanging up the phone, Miles felt a surge of intense anger. He believed that the grievances and frustrations he had endured over the years were something no one could truly empathize with. Therefore, he thought no one had the right to stand on a moral high ground and criticize him.

Although Skyler wasn’t smart, she hadn’t caused Miles much trouble in life over the years. However, now that she had been diagnosed with lung cancer, whether she could be cured and return to normal life was uncertain. Miles didn’t dare to gamble his already dim future. He had already lived his life as if begging, and he couldn’t bear to burden himself with an even heavier load in the second half of his life.

Yes, Miles felt that the term “begging” was quite fitting.

He knew that Skyler’s family looked down on him. He lived in their house, drove their car, and relied on the small supermarket they funded for his livelihood. Every day, he bent and lifted in the supermarket, not daring to be picky about food and spending money cautiously. It felt like even the air he breathed belonged to someone else’s home.

Sometimes he felt exceptionally stifled living this way. However, the short-tempered Miles couldn’t find an outlet for his frustration. He couldn’t vent it on Skyler. Even if Miles was unwilling, he knew that Skyler was the straw that saved him from poverty. He couldn’t confront Skyler’s parents either. In the end, his clothing, food, shelter, daily life, and even his lifeline were all in their hands.

Miles hated Skyler’s parents for their overbearing behavior, and he hated his own incompetence and powerlessness in controlling his destiny.

4

On the day of Miles’s mother’s surgery, his father also rushed over. Seeing his son, whom he hadn’t seen in several years, Miles’s father’s rough face reddened. He awkwardly rubbed his hands and said, “Actually, it’s fine if you don’t come back. I’m here.”

Miles inexplicably felt a bit annoyed. He said, “My mom has cancer, and I wouldn’t come back? Am I still human? I’ve settled in the town, not died out there. There are only three people in my family. My brother can’t come back. If I don’t come back, what will happen to my mom?”

In his outburst towards his father, Miles wrapped up his unresolved resentment towards him over the years. If it weren’t for his father’s affair, he wouldn’t have divorced his mother. Their family might have had a better life, and he wouldn’t have had to sacrifice his promising future for money.

Miles’s father couldn’t hold up his face. Frowning, he said in a low voice, “Your mom is right. No one can stop her. I say I should be there too, and you shouldn’t think of stopping me. I regret what I did to your mom when I was young. But now that she has cancer, I want to be by her bedside. After all, she gave birth to two sons for me. For that, I should take care of her.”

His father’s words made Miles’s heart, swollen with grievances, tremble a few times.

Skyler also gave birth to a daughter for him, two years old, healthy and lively. She followed him around all day, calling him “Daddy” with a sweet voice that melted Miles’s heart into a pool of water. Given that Skyler is the mother of their daughter, shouldn’t he stay by her side after learning about her cancer?

Miles took out his phone, considering whether to send Skyler a voice message, but he noticed several unread messages. Opening them one by one, they were all small videos of their daughter sent by Skyler.

Skyler wasn’t very adept at using WeChat to communicate with people, but Miles had patiently taught her how to record small videos and send voice messages. However, every time Skyler sent Miles something, it was only videos of their daughter.

Perhaps, despite her intellectual limitations, Skyler had always understood that what mattered most to Miles in this family was their daughter.

Miles’s lips curved upwards, and he eagerly watched the videos of their daughter. The little one giggled at the phone, her laughter radiating a bright light, piercing through the lingering fog in Miles’s heart, dissolving it completely.

From the resemblance of their daughter’s eyebrows and eyes in the video, Miles seemed to see Skyler’s face again.

5

Miles’s mother’s hysterectomy was very successful. Although the doctor mentioned that the prognosis might be poor, with a survival rate of less than 50% for the next 5 years, Miles’s father was overjoyed, tears streaming down his face.

He tightly held Miles’s mother’s hand, wiping the overflowing tears on her thin and withered hand.

Lowering his head, he muttered, “For so many years, you refused to forgive me. Now that you’re ill, let me take care of you. Even though we haven’t been together for many years, you’ll always be my son’s mother.”

His mother hadn’t fully regained consciousness, but Miles, standing beside them, clearly saw a transparent tear forming in the corner of her eye. It lingered there, then couldn’t be contained and followed the lines of her eye, falling down with a soft sound.

It was as if Miles heard the sound of his mother’s tear falling, and he also felt the release of his long-held hatred towards his father. Along with it, there seemed to be a melting away of his years of self-loathing.

Miles always thought of himself as the son-in-law, feeling inferior. But upon closer reflection, it seemed that Skyler’s family had never mistreated him.

It was only after marriage that Miles learned Skyler’s family wasn’t exceptionally wealthy. Yet, they willingly used their savings to open a supermarket for him, simply wanting him to have his own business and not feel dependent on others. When they bought a car for Miles, it was just to ensure he had the material support for a stable life like everyone else.

Most importantly, Miles’s daughter had taken his surname since birth and never changed it.

So, regardless of whether Skyler’s parents’ actions were genuine or just a hope for him to treat Skyler well, as a father himself, Miles should understand the heartfelt planning of an elderly couple for their unfortunate daughter.

Thinking of this, Miles felt like someone had pushed open a window in his heart, and suddenly, it became bright and clear.

6

Miles’s father is going home to cook porridge. He says, “Your mom loves to drink millet porridge made with rice oil. The ones you buy outside are like water, tasteless.”

His mother hasn’t woken up yet, and Miles is sitting by her bedside. He adjusts the bedcovers and gently strokes his mother’s forehead, marked with lines. After a while, he feels the pillow is a bit low, so he bends down, pulls the pillow from both sides towards the center, and then touches his mother’s phone under the pillow.

Miles holds the phone in his hand, inspecting it from left to right. It’s the one he used two years ago. That year, Skyler’s father saw that the screen of Miles’s phone was scratched, so he bought him a new one, and the replaced one was given to Miles’s mother.

The password hasn’t changed, and Miles casually opens WeChat. His mother’s WeChat has only a few friends, and at the top is Skyler’s father, with the most recent chat being the day before the surgery.

His mother asks Skyler’s father if Miles has caused trouble. Why did he come back without saying hello?

Skyler’s father replies, “I asked him to come back and see you.”

His mother says, “Father-in-law, if he does something wrong, scold him like your own son.”

Skyler’s father replies, “Rest assured, Mother-in-law, I’ve always treated him like my son.”

Is he treating Skyler well?

Very well. This child is down-to-earth, hardworking, and there’s nothing to complain about regarding Skyler.

…

The conversations between Miles and Skyler’s father, spanning about twenty exchanges, never touched upon Skyler’s cancer or Miles’s sudden departure. As Miles processed this information, he felt a sharp pain in his throat, as if a sword had pierced through, and he coughed a few times, tears streaming down effortlessly.

On the fifth day after his mother’s surgery, Miles returned home. Before leaving, he entrusted his mother to his father with great solemnity. He thanked his father, saying, “Take care of my mom. Thank you, Dad.”

His father gripped his shoulders and shook them forcefully, reassuring him, “Don’t worry, I am your dad, and as a man, this is what I should do.”

During his return journey, Miles maintained a speed that rivaled his initial arrival. Tomorrow is the 18th, and he wants to get back before tonight to inform his in-laws that he will accompany them to take Skyler to Beijing for treatment.

Miles came to a realization — whether he endures or yields, he willingly followed the path laid out by fate, bowing his head to accept what life offered. Even if he didn’t want it, he took it. No one begged him desperately, and no one forced him with weapons.

Moreover, he understood that his fear of Skyler becoming a burden was just an excuse. The toughest days for Miles’s family were overcome with the help of Skyler’s family. Now that life has improved, the dignity and sense of humiliation that had been suppressed by poverty are surging within him uncontrollably. He urgently needs an opportunity to sever ties with the past.

Is fate truly unfair to him? In reality, fate has silently drawn the path for everyone. The choice of which path to take has always been in one’s own hands, without coercion or compulsion.

Regardless of the path chosen, it’s one’s own decision. To persist from start to finish is the best way to journey through life.

During the return journey, Miles was eager to reunite with his family. He didn’t know if the nodules on Skyler’s lungs were cancerous, and he didn’t know how much longer Skyler would need him. But as long as Skyler needed him, he would strive to endure.

He hoped that when his daughter grew up, she would thank him for taking care of her mother without abandoning her midway. Just like Miles expressed gratitude to his father today — a similar sentiment.